In a funk and not sure how to move forward?
You have a list a mile long of to-dos, but you can't seem to muster up the energy to even cross one task off the list. Your energy is low, you're not motivated or feeling inspired. Rather than doing what you should be doing, you're scrolling through Facebook, and suddenly you find yourself watching the livestream video of April the Giraffe waiting to see if by some miracle she finally had her baby and BOOM 30-minutes has passed. You decide that it's time you should probably get to work, so you drag your lazy butt off the couch and into your home office. However, as soon as you open the computer and put your perfectly manicured nails to the keyboard you're instantly transfixed on the blank white screen with the stupid cursor blinking at you. Taunting you as a constant reminder that you should be writing something, anything, but nothing is coming to mind. Therefore, instead you decide to jump onto Pinterest and look for a recipe for dinner. And the vicious cycle continues.
I can relate! Recently I was experiencing resistance in my business. Resistance to doing the very things I needed to do to see growth in my business. I was overwhelmed, my mindset was in the pooper, and I was feeling burnt out. Truthfully, I was a hot mess and wasn't sure how to get out of the funk.
I found myself uninspired to write great content. I wasn't taking action in my business like I needed too. I procrastinated, binge-watched Netflix, ate A LOT of ice cream, and neglected a lot of things both in my personal life and business. The balance was not there!
In fact, if you would like to read more about what my resistance looked like, head on over to this related blog post: Emotional Resistance Has Reared its Ugly Head. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I think you'll be amazed that I, Kayla Brissi, insane action-taker was living a less than active life for awhile. I know you'll be able to relate to many of the forms of the resistance that I was experiencing, and it's my hope that between these two blog posts that it'll help you identify your resistance and teach you how to work through it so that you're not a hamster on a wheel like I was.
What is emotional resistance? Resistance in its simplest form can be those tasks that keep us "busy" that are stopping us from moving forward, getting the things done that we need to do to help us hit a major goal.
Resistance often looks like anxiety, stress, worry, judgment, fear doubt, self-sabotage, avoidance, escaping, self-criticism, and even anger.
Emotional resistance comes in many forms, shapes, and sizes. It's important to note too, that it looks different for everyone. It can start to show up as a constant dispute with your spouse or significant other, angry about the weather, family drama, many family obligations that you have to do, a fight with a dear friend, client issues and all of these things added together are signs of resistance. Resistance is the obstacles that are presenting themselves to you to prevent you from hitting that goal, making a life change or following your dreams.
Here's the thing, don't empower your resistance by calling it by a false name. For example, take a look at these common forms of resistance:
- I didn't get my newsletter done because I was so busy with my son.
- I didn't I reach out to my new leads because I had housework to do.
- I didn't make $10,000 this month because people don't want what I have to offer.
This is resistance! Anytime that your actions or thoughts are preventing you from moving forward and experiencing growth, it is resistance! The quicker you acknowledge what it is and call it out, the quicker you'll be back to your usual self.
Expect resistance to happen anytime you are trying to make a change in your life or business, hit a new goal or are stepping outside your comfort zone to make a greater impact on the lives of others. It is inevitable. You can't experience GROWTH without dealing with resistance.
According to Stephen Pressfield, who is the author of War of Art, he says, "Resistance is the equal-and-opposite reaction of Nature to the New Thing that you and I are called to bring forth out of nothing there would be no resistance without the dream."
Pretty powerful, right?
Resistance is something that we all experience at some point in time as an entrepreneur. Anytime that we walk into unknown territory with our eyes wide open to what could potentially happen, resistance will pay an unexpecting visit and just like an unwanted visitor we entertain it for far too long.
That resistance is your inner voice asking you, "How bad do you want this?" It is your subconscious trying to protect you from stepping outside of your comfort zone and experiencing feelings or emotions that you normally wouldn't want to experience. Your subconscious wants to keep you in your box full of Egyptian cotton comfort.
The reality is though, if you don't take control of your resistance it is going to win. However, if you're ready to dig your stilettos in and persevere, you can disempower that resistance, and you shall win!
By now you're probably wondering, how to overcome emotional resistance, right?
Alright, let's dive in and KILL this RESISTANCE!
Here are my top tips and actions that I took to kill the various forms of resistance and go from hot mess to mega success:
- Embrace the silence and smile because this too shall pass. God never gives you any more than you can handle.
- Give yourself a big fat REALITY CHECK! It's time to get real honest with yourself by looking at what's going on and the actions that you're taking. It can be difficult to point out our flaws and admit to them. However, in order to move forward, we have to stop believing the LIES we're telling ourselves.
- Do some mindset work, prayer, and meditation daily for a minimum of 15 minutes.
- Journal through your thoughts to determine what's holding you back from moving forward. Hint: It's likely F.E.A.R!
- Rewrite your story! You have a CHOICE. Keep doing what you're doing and be mediocre or rewrite your story by doing something different.
- Create a workspace that you love and enjoy that's full of your favorite things to keep you inspired and to remind you WHY you're in business.
- Eliminate the distractions that keep you "busy" that aren't moving the needle of success forward.
- Take a break and have some fun by doing something that you truly enjoy.
- Change your thinking by stopping the NATs (negative automatic thoughts) from coming in. Stop the negative self-talk, judgment, and self-sabotage. They don't serve you and are a waste of energy.
- Recognize the patterns of when resistance rears its ugly head and track it so that you can disempower it right away.
- Change your expectations so that they're more realistic and achievable.
- Find an accountability partner or business bestie to hold you accountable for your important goals both personally and professionally.
- Hire a support team, a coach or mentor that'll listen to you and then give you the kick in the pants that you need to move forward.
- Break down your tasks into small bite-size pieces to remove the overwhelm.
- Take massive action despite the fear and resistance. Be like Nike and JUST DO IT!
That all doesn't sound too bad, right? The important thing is to get real with yourself, call the resistance out for what it is and not a false name and then work through it. Sitting in resistance will squelch your ambition, inspiration, motivation and more importantly your DREAMS. Therefore, it us imperative that you get control of it before it does some serious damage to your life or business. Work through it by using the tips from above and you'll be as good as GOLD!
Alright, I am curious and would like for you to share in the comments below: What was your biggest takeaway about resistance?